Today I was in the process of writing a long-winded and painful blog about church, but I decided it was too whiny and deleted it.
I think that's my favorite thing about blogging.
I have a tendency to be stupid at first and wise in the long run.
This lets me get my stupid out, delete it, and then write something worthwhile.
Have you ever seen the movie Click?
It's an awful movie, because Adam Sandler is a pervert.
But it addresses a fantasy that crosses the mind of everyone who has ever used a VCR:
What if we could edit and rewind or fast forward our lives?
If I could go back and fix all of my mistakes, sure, I bet I could have a more successful, less sinful life. But if I could just go back and fix anything I messed up, I would cease to recognize my own weaknesses. Sure, I'd be able to see where I screwed up so I could go back and fix it, but a free "Win" button would remove any doubts about how great I am.
I think it would make it impossible to have true relationships.
Aside from the fact that I could redo every conversation that didn't go the way I wanted, giving me infinite attempts to get someone to like me, I think that people relate to each other and become close only because we are all flawed.
Intimacy is impossible without mutually knowing and accepting each other's weaknesses, correct? I am such a failure in this area because I HATE showing people my weaknesses, especially since mine are generally harder to see than a lot of people's are. I'm good at hiding them.
I can never pretend that I'm perfect in front of people who really know me, and that gives me the ability to be humble and loving the more I come to show myself to them.
In the same way, I copied that crappy, whiny blog I wrote before this and saved it to my hard drive. I can't pretend it never happened, I don't want to just rewind and ignore the way I feel just because I know it was wrong of me to feel that way.
I'd like to think I'll read it again in 3 or 4 years and recognize how weak I was, how much I've grown, and how much I still have left to go.
I prefer foolishness over invincibility any day, because foolishness allows for the wisdom to admit you make mistakes.
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So, this is the blog of Brett. I used to write on my Myspace and I still use my Facebook all the time to tell people what's going on in my life, but I suppose true blogging isn't about what's happening in your life, it's about your reaction to it and what it inspires you to think. Not to say that this is my journal. It's where I drop my brain off at the end of the day.
4 comments:
wait, you're not perfect? you had us fooled.
being perfect made me aware of your imperfections...
i'm jealous.
matching duck mugs is freakin awesome in my book.
matching owl mugs.....even greater.
I'm so proud of you and I hope you know that the more I get to know your weaknesses the more I love you. When you show me what you're made of I know that you are trusting me and wanting to me be a part of your life and reality. And that warms me every inch all over. :)
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